Oriented to Love

'We are here to transform the world.' Those are the words I heard as I sat in a room with eleven people I had just met. We were there to engage in a weekend of dialogue around gender, sexuality, and faith - you know, just some light chit chat. This group of people was intentionally and thoughtfully diverse in many senses – gender, race, orientation, age, and theological perspective – yet we were all united by our love of Jesus and our desire to love others well. We were drawn together byOriented to Love, a program of Christians for Social Action that cultivates brave spaces to wrestle with this often divisive topic. The goal of the dialogue was not to come to agreement but to seek unity that is deeper than agreement. For weeks leading up to the dialogue weekend, we had been preparing our minds and hearts with practices that centered around getting to know one another, sifting through our own beliefs, becoming aware of the stories that shaped our perspectives, paying attention to our emotions and bodily sensations, and crafting questions that nurture dialogue rather than shut it down. We now sat together around a circle at a beautiful retreat center and began to engage in a weekend that would shape us all. I went into this dialogue to continue learning how to be an ally for the queer community, not realizing the sweet gifts that I would receive. I have never before walked into a room of unfamiliar faces and felt so embraced. I know for sure that when people have had to wrestle with their own identity and faith and come out of that experience with the assurance of their belovedness, they have an increased capacity to affirm the belovedness of others. They are more ready to hold gracious space for others, even those who have caused them pain. That's a profound gift to receive. We don't see many spaces these days that seek unity amidst disagreement, much less around such a polarizing topic like gender and sexuality. Too often we believe the rhetoric that paints the other side as dangerous. We may worry about listening to other perspectives because we don't want to be led astray or we don't want to be confronted with our own blindspots. Or perhaps we have experienced deep harm at the hands of the other, and we justifiably don't want to open ourselves up to that again. We allow our suspicions about the unknown and unfamiliar to inform reality as we know it, and we build walls around our hearts. It's human nature to fear what we don't understand, but too often we allow that fear to justify division and exclusion. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to look into the eyes of someone with whom we don't agree and allow curiosity and compassion to take the driver's seat. We can't guarantee that we won't we get hurt in these types of interactions, but there is something powerful in opening our hearts to the possibility of reconciliation and deeper understanding. Healthy dialogue doesn't come naturally. We all carry our own assumptions, wounds, and stories into every interaction, and we often seek to protect ourselves from the discomfort of confronting our own limitations, blindspots, and scars. There is so much intentional care and inner work that is required to foster this type of conversation. It is never going to be the quick and easy fix that so many reach for, and yet, it is necessary if we want to bring healing to our fractured world. I've thought a lot about those words that I heard at the beginning of the dialogue weekend. 'We are here to transform the world.' That's a bold claim, and yet I'm beginning to understand just how true it is. Imagine what the world could like if we all took the time to interrogate our own assumptions and embrace the possibility of finding beauty and belovedness in our enemies. In a world of urgency and forcefulness, I believe that it is this slow, steady, gentle work that often has the deepest and most lasting impact. In a couple weeks, I'm heading back to into the warm embrace of an Oriented to Love experience. This time, I'll receive training on how to facilitate these types of dialogue spaces myself. I'm looking forward to spending time with beautiful people, deepening my capacity for healthy dialogue across disagreement, and discerning how I might use the skills I learn to cultivate new spaces of connection, contemplation, and curiosity - spaces where compassion can grow. Our world needs more spaces like these. If you're interested in learning more about Oriented to Love or attending one of their weekend dialogues, check outhttps://christiansforsocialaction.org/programs/oriented-to-love/and prepare to be transformed. Thanks for reading On The Side of Grace! This post is public so feel free to share it. Share Subscribe now