An Honest Dictionary of American Politics

Bipartisan: When both parties help the same corporate donor Reaching across the aisle: Voting against the people who elected you Campaign contribution:A bribe Thoughts and prayers:The official response to a preventable tragedy Anonymous official:A politician whose name would piss you off Job market:A place where you compete for the privilege of paying your rent The economy:A number that's doing great when you are not Middle class:A group of people that no longer exist Boots on the ground:Americans who can't afford college Pentagon:A charity for weapons manufacturers Sanctions:Starving civilians until their government agrees with you War crimes:When white people die Human shields:When brown people die NATO:A friend group with a minimum spend Aid package:Weapons Defensive weapons:More weapons Freedom:Hosting a U.S. army base on your soil Oil reserves:Gods way of choosing who gets liberated Leave a comment Nour Hadidi is a writer and comedian based in Toronto. She writes here about politics, survival, and the general absurdity of being alive right now. If this resonated, forward it to someone who needs it or subscribe so you don't miss the next one. Subscribe now