Have u been having Subscribers un-subscribe from your Substack?

Dear roomies, hmmmm. Okay, let's just go ahead. Now, for the very first question, Do bots subscribe to our Substack or what? Because WHAT is this indiscriminate unsubscribing going on here? 😭😂 What is this involuntary gift of hope and maximum excitement of a new subscription? You wake up: 'Yessss! New subscriber!' 🥹🎉 You're happy. You're grateful. You're already calculating how many subscribers you'll have by December. and next thing,piaaam! It's all gone. 141 subscribers. Do you know how long it took me to get there?! It took me a WHOLE MONTH to move from being stuck at 130. A WHOLE MONTH! Thirty whole days and nights, I kept hoping for an increment, only for the numbers to start behaving like they had personal issues with me. 😭 I literally cried and threatened myself not to be active anymore on this very app. Because what was I doing wrong?! I felt like 130 was cursed. Honestly, it was beginning to feel like the Chelsea No. 9 curse. 😭😂 One person subscribes. Another person leaves. Someone comes. Someone goes. I said, 'God, what kind of revolving door is this?' I don't really want that 'Soldier go, soldier come" kind of invitation for now in my growing stage. Make no soldier go, make the soldiers just dey come. The barrack too big, e never full. Even if e full, make the soldiers share room, 10 soldiers-to-one , space go dey. After all, there's a reason this place is calledThe Ghreene Room. Ok. Eventually, after what felt like a full academic session, I finally crossed 130. Guess how many.. 141! ELEVEN NEW PEOPLE! I was excited. I thanked everybody. I posted it. Everywhere stew. 🍲😂 I was enjoying my small victory. Then……….. I blinked. And somehow… just somehow somebody had already carried THREE subscribers away.. THREE?! THREE SUBSCRIBERS HAS UNSUBSCRIBED! 😭😭😭 Ahhhhhhh! WHY?! WETIN HAPPEN?! WETIN I DOOO?! 😭😭 WHY ALWAYS ME? Subscribe Are bots subscribing to MY page, completing their little subscription internship, then resigning automatically when their tenure expires? 😭😭😂 Is that it? Does this happen to you people, or is it just me? Because how do we go from: 'Yesss, new subscriber!' to 'Ah… they have left me again.' 💔 And the worst part? They leave mysteriously. U no go know who don run comot. U just will never know. I will dramatically scroll down my subscribers list to see if I could get a clue of who left, maybe recognize a name I used to know. I'll then be like: 'Wait…' 'This person subscribed here yesterday bah?' 'Where is that name?' 'Who has left?!' Phewww! I'm basically conducting a CSI investigation on my own Substack. 😭😂 And if I eventually catch one of these un-subscribers… Let me just believe they are bots and not actual human beings. Because… I WILL FIND YOU. AND I WILL KILL YOU.😡😡😢🙃 Oya I will not kill anybody, but I will roast u. We go giddy am. If it's the email notifications disturbing you, TURN THEM OFF! 😂 If you no don't wanna see the emails, ARCHIVE THEM! If you don't like my face again, okay… we can discuss that privately. 😭😂 ButUNSUBSCRIBE?! For what na?! After all the premium nonsense I have been writing for you people?! 😭😭😭 The juicy gists. The laughable memes. My intentional savage comments. My relationship with you people. The stories that make you smile. The stories that make you laugh. The stories that make you remember something that happened to you years ago. The random things that make you say: 'Omo, this writer is mad.' 😂 or, 'Yh, I can relate to this meme/article, like crazy 😂' Haba nau! Oga un-subscriber, if na u, u go like am? No, aunty un-subscriber, follow answer the question too. If na you, u go like am? — No, bah? Tor! Exactly… Subscribe I am not asking for money. I am not asking for kidney. I am simply asking you to… JUST STAY SUBSCRIBED. 😭😂 That's all I'm asking for. Is that too much already? Undoubtedly, I don't it is. 141 subscribers must become 142… then 150… then 200… then 500… and higher. I have suffered enough. 😭😂 So if u know who's doing this WICKED thing to me, just tell the person to stop.ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I have not un-subscribed to anyone… so why do this to me? I think it is high time you upgrade Substack so that once someone subscribes,THAT SUBSCRIPTION IS FOR LIFE. 😂 Look into it and get back to me. I believe I'm not the only one going through this frustration. We are humans… NOT MARVEL VILLAINS.😭😂 Thank you. This is exactly why I gathered us all here today. Meeting adjourned. Until somebody unsubscribesagain. Then we shall reconvene. 😭😂 Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This post is ready. Feel free to share and restack if it resonates with you. Share