My alarming discovery in my fiancé's nightstand sparked a sickening suspicion... but his excuse exposed something far worse: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane, I am so proud of my fiancé for his sobriety journey. He quit drugs and alcohol years ago after he realized he hated the man he became when he was under the influence – angry and depressed – and has become the best version of himself in the years since. He takes care of himself both physically and mentally, and I've been his biggest cheerleader through it all. That's what has made my recent discovery in his nightstand so crushing. I was tidying up our apartment when I opened the top drawer of his bedside table to find a small bottle of CBD gummies, the kind meant for sleep and relaxation. While I know CBD isn't a drug, it concerned me. Sure, it won't cause a 'high' like marijuana would, but couldn't relying on the gummies to sleep be a gateway back into drug use and drinking? When I confronted him, he brushed it off, saying that it's no different than melatonin. In fact, he went so far as to say that one day, once he's practiced enough restraint, he'll be able to drink or smoke just a little bit without feeling the need to overindulge. I don't want to tell him what to do, but I don't feel comfortable sharing a life with someone who seems fine with throwing his away. Perhaps this seems harsh but, after witnessing his addiction through the years, I just want what's best for him. Is there a way to get through to him, or do I need to leave? Sincerely, Sobering Discovery International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column Dear Sobering Discovery, I very much see why you are concerned. Breaking free of an addiction is a tremendous feat, and those of us who have lived with active addicts and alcoholics know just how terrifying it is to be constantly alert to warning signs that they may be about to fall off the wagon. Let me start by telling you it's not the CBD gummies that are concerning. You're quite right, they are not a drug, do not induce a high, and while you are worried about his reliance on them, one could also argue that coffee is equally addictive. The bit that you are right to be worried about is him believing that one day he will be able to drink or smoke without feeling the need to overindulge. I have had relationships with alcoholics. Eventually, despite the love, I had no choice but to leave. Once I did, he immediately got himself into Alcoholics Anonymous. He had been in it before, but not during our relationship, when his drinking was deeply worrying. A few months later I ran into him and was delighted at how well he was doing. He was not only working the program, but had a sponsor, was working the steps. He looked great. We chatted easily, and then he said, 'I still don't think I really have a problem. For me it's just a habit.' And my heart sank, just as yours did when your fiancé said he could handle it. For the record, that person in my life did start drinking again. You are right to be worried. If he is in a 12-step program, encourage him to discuss what he told you with his sponsor, and his group. The healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to start attending meetings for families and friends of alcoholics. It's too early for you to make any kind of lasting decision but, whenever it comes, the universe will always show us the right path eventually, even when it feels overwhelming and hard. Dear Jane, My girlfriend and her mom are the best of friends. In fact, I never realized a mother and daughter could truly be so close. They go on vacations together, are constantly visiting one another and talk on the phone multiple times a day. They tell each other everything. For better or worse. I found that out the hard way when I came home from work early one day and overheard my girlfriend telling her mom all about a fight we had the night before. While I would've expected her to vent to her friends from time to time, I feel deeply uncomfortable with my girlfriend airing out our dirty laundry to her mom. I'm trying to win her approval and I worry that can't happen if she's hearing bad things about me. But when I explained this to my girlfriend she brushed me off, saying her mom's opinion of me won't be swayed by hearing about our arguments. In fact, she said that I'm going to have to learn to live with her mom knowing all of our relationship woes if I want to be with her. I'm trying to get over it, but this feels like a dealbreaker. I'm going to forever be worried about what she might say and I'm worried it will impact our relationship. But I also don't want to break up over this. What do I do? Sincerely, Mother of All Problems Dear Mother of All Problems, For many women their first best friend, the one that stays true to them for their whole life, is their mom. And I'm afraid the bad news is there isn't much you're going to be able to do about it. Here's the good news: as hard as it may be for you to know that her mother knows everything about you, she also knows everything about her daughter. She's probably wise enough to know that even if her daughter is venting about you, her daughter had a part to play in that dynamic too - though she may not tell your girlfriend that. I think it's far better for a woman to talk to her mother than her friends. Friends are much less permanent than we think, especially when we're young. I've heard from too many women who have told their best friends everything only to have the friendship blow up leaving them feeling terrified and vulnerable. But a mother is always going to keep those secrets in the lock box. I do think you are entitled to set a boundary and ask that there are certain things that are not discussed. Your girlfriend's reaction and her willingness to work with you on finding a compromise will shed far more light on whether or not this is a dealbreaker. Someone unable to change or compromise is not going to make an easy relationship, and it is far better to know these things now. And there's nothing worse than getting married to someone only to discover that there are in fact three of you in the marriage. No relationship can survive that.