A day to reflect on 9/11

This column normally talks about money, personal finance, retirement planning, investments and the like. Those are important subjects, given the space the Times Record News used to provide me to cover them. Michelle Kuehner has taken over from me, but as this year marks the 25th anniversary of the defining moment for several generations — the terrorist attacks of 9/11 — I'm stealing the column for one day. My thanks to the paper for giving me the space to do so. Twenty-five years ago, I was getting ready to head down to Dallas to take one of my required continuing education courses to maintain my Certified Financial Planner designation. While dressing, I walked into our den, where my wife, Joanne, was watching the news. It seemed strange for the news to be on at that hour. Of course, later I would realize that every major television station had shifted to the same story. I watched as the landmark Twin Towers continued burning, the second plane having already hit. Being a rather logical man, it did not take much thought to realize this was no accident but a terrorist attack. Whether it was domestic or international terrorism, I did not know. Somehow, I managed to finish dressing and load up the car. Whether the class would still be held, I had no idea, but without it my license would expire in two weeks — and with it, my livelihood. I hugged Joanne goodbye. Each of us would have to process this separately. Listening to the radio on what felt like an endless drive down U.S. Highway 287 to the Metroplex, I slowly filled in the blanks: the attack on the Pentagon, the passengers fighting back over Pennsylvania and the collapse of the Twin Towers. Stopping for gas along the way felt eerie. Fears of shortages had already caused prices to rise. People spoke in hushed tones and moved as if in a daze. The class did go on. None of us really had a choice. No speaker showed up because his plane had been diverted to who knows where. The skies above the United States were strangely quiet. A recording of the previous year's lecture took the place of the missing speaker. Honestly, I have no idea whether we technically followed the rules on that one, but I'm not sure anyone really cared. Ironically, it was our biannual ethics training requirement. We were like most of the country — not remembering exactly how we made it through the day yet never forgetting it. Eventually, a television was rolled into the back of the hotel conference room so that the hundred or so financial advisors there could keep up with events. Internet access and video on cell phones were still years away, but the phone part worked. At every break, phones were pressed to ears, and every available electrical outlet was occupied by chargers while we tried to concentrate on the material in front of us. Those calls connected us to offices and staff, clients, vendors and family. Since the financial industry is heavily represented in New York City, many of the calls did not go through that day. And because the towers housed so many financial firms, some of the calls never would. I do not remember the drive home. Heck, I do not remember much of the next several days. I do know that my television was never turned off. One memory from the continuous coverage remains permanently seared into my mind. As you may recall, families of the missing posted pictures of their loved ones around the disaster area. Several television stations broadcast quick 30-second interviews to aid in the search efforts. I remember one young woman, probably in her 20s, holding up a picture of her fiancé. By the time of the interview, she had been awake for more than 36 hours, walking from hospital to hospital and from triage center to triage center searching for him. For 36 hours. On her feet. Walking marathon distances. Pleading into the camera, she held her fiancé's picture up to the lens, hoping someone would recognize him. She explained that he worked on one of the upper floors of one of the towers — well above the impact points. It was her eyes that I remember most. In them were desperation, fading hope and approaching despair all at once. She still had not allowed herself to fully accept the possibility — the likelihood — that the man she loved was part of the dust that covered the city. No one said anything back to her during the interview. Perhaps they did not know what to say, or perhaps they had the wisdom to realize that nothing could be said. As the camera panned away from her and moved on to the next person, I started to lose it — completely lose it. And it would not be the last time. In her vulnerability, I sensed what the entire nation was going through. In that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was give this stranger a hug and cry with her. The crying I could do. We all needed hugs that week. In the years since, we have exacted some revenge, tightened our borders some and clamped down at airports a great deal. Some of that was justified, some remains open to debate and some was simply the understandable reaction of a country dealing with the loss of its innocence. So perhaps it is fitting to take some time today to reflect on the past and consider our future. In the days and months after 9/11, we were a country joined in spirit and determination. Though battered and bloodied, we stood truly united. Created from the dust of the Twin Towers that symbolized our strength and the ashes of innocents who represented our very best, the clouds rising that day covered us all, much as they blanketed the survivors stumbling through the streets of Manhattan. It touched every one of us. It made us one. I pray that even after 25 years, the memory of those moments still gives We the People renewed strength and determination. Let us eliminate the foolish self-importance and jealousies that lead to petty squabbles, vain pursuits, and an unwillingness to sacrifice. Instead, let us remember that unity is possible, even when we disagree, and join together to make the future of our country and its people worthy of the sacrifices so many have made in the preservation of freedom. Gary Silverman, Chartered Financial Consultant, is the founder of Personal Money Planning, a retirement planning and investment management firm located in Wichita Falls. You may contact him at www.PersonalMoneyPlanning.com.