Editor's Notebook: When positivity becomes toxic

I recently read about 'toxic positivity' in a recent Roni's Remedy advice column. Now that's an interesting expression. I must confess to being guilty of this. In an effort to make people feel better, I might try to be positive to the point that I sweep aside their feelings. It gave me something to think about ... And it took me back to the time when a friend was pouring her heart out about all the troubles she was going through and I kept telling her to focus on the positive side and tried to point out the things she should be grateful for. And then, frustrated, she asked if I could just listen and not minimize her feelings. I was shocked, but immediately realized she was right. My role here as a friend was to listen, to let her spill her guts, and not say anything unless she asked me to. I hope I'm a better friend now. I try to listen more, speak less. And I appreciate advice columnist Veronica Baumgarner's comments: 'We have so much toxic positivity going on in the world today. And it makes people feel like they can't really share what's going on. We all experience downtimes and negative emotions. That is completely normal because we are all human! Now the key is to not wallow in those negative feelings but expressing them is what gets them out of you. Tell her that you need her to listen and not say a word. Explain that you want to share all of your emotions and then she can help you come to a solution with how to deal with the problem you're having. But you're going to have to tell her to stop shutting down your truth because it's making you feel like you can't go to her anymore. I really hope she listens to you because we need to be able to express all of us.' And I hope you're catching her column every Saturday. It's a gem! What are you thinking about these days? Share your thoughts with a letter to the editor toletters@yumasun.com. Maybe the best summer smell is whichever one makes you pause, breathe in, and remember that even the hottest days have their bright spots Partly cloudy. Low 86F. Winds NW at 5 to 10 mph. Partly cloudy. Low 86F. Winds NW at 5 to 10 mph. Sunshine and clouds mixed. High 103F. Winds NNW at 10 to 20 mph. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular videos. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular commented articles. Family members may submit obituaries of their loved ones here.