Cleveland City Hall is the ultimate party pooper: Leslie Kouba

Ever since we moved into our Cleveland home almost ten years ago, I've wanted to host a neighborhood party. Lacking one of those sprawling mid-century ranches built for parties, the gathering would be outside and simple. Kids on bikes in the street, a table full of simple summer food, lots of folding chairs under the shade of the large trees out front and some music popping in the background. It would be fun! What wasn't fun was trying to make it happen. A word of advice – if you want to gather up your neighbors, do it in your front yard and keep the kids off the street. Unlike the Lakewood next door, with its user-friendly and simple approach to helping residents get together, the City of Cleveland seems to have purposely put up as many road blocks as possible. It forces an average person to fill out forms used for large contractor projects. It hides the permit process behind a link within a division that is under a department that is listed under City Hall. What nonsense!. Mayor Bibb promised to modernize the city's website and connection points. Obviously, no one thought to make the block party permitting process easier. Since I had been to a friend's street party in Lakewood a few years back, I foolishly thought I had a pretty good handle on how to make it all work. Keep it simple. Restrict it to only a single block of residents. Serve hot dogs and bagged chips. Have a couple games for the kids. And close the block to create a safe zone where everyone could move freely and not worry about cars. I was mistaken. First, I found out I had to submit an application to hold an event. The link to the 'Block Party Permit Application' was six layers deep on the city's website and without the advice I obtained through my council member, I never would have found it. The form asked for date and time info about the event and also about the hours the street would be closed. If anyone had wanted to sell food or merchandise, there would have been more forms. Oy. I finally got through that one and sent it off with the required $20 money order – yes – a money order. Talk about antiquated. I mailed it well before the minimum 14 days before the event, to allow for processing by the good folks in the Division of Special Events and Marketing, which is under the Department of Public Works. Because that makes sense. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and tech-savvy person. So when I read the following on the block party permit app, it sounded like I was done. Au contraire! Here's the city's wording that I very much misunderstood: 'Application is hereby made to the Director of Public Works for a permit to close a residential street for the purpose of conducting a neighborhood gathering or picnic for the residents. Applicant is responsible for providing all necessary barricades to assure the safety and protection of everyone within the permitted area, two personal vehicles at each closure can be used as barricades.' Now doesn't that sound like I get to close the street? Nope. There is another form buried six layers deep in a different department (Building & Housing) and division (Construction Permitting) to request permission to close about 600 feet of a small side street so kids can ride bikes and play games. Now why didn't the block party form mention the street closure form? And why in the world does the city make an average citizen use the same permitting portal as contractors handling huge projects? Online, the city seems very proud of its new permitting portal so, maybe, they want residents to see how modernized it's become. I chuckle. To use the contractor portal, one must first make a profile. Once the city knows who you are then you must answer many questions, create a drawing of how the 'work' will be set up and another drawing or map of the exact location of streets and sidewalks that will be impacted. Please don't think any of this was easy. Getting the portal to accept my block party drawings was extremely difficult because the website is not formatted for different screen types. Modernized, indeed. Not. We are fortunate to have some of our City Council members planning events across their wards to bring people together. They know urban environments can make knowing your neighbors difficult but that building those relationships increases safety and reduces fear. Councilperson Tanmay Shah, Ward 12, is encouraging connecting with neighbors and wants to help. In Ward 11, Nikki Hudson is hosting a community movie night on Sept. 11. Admittedly, it's hard to stretch out of our comfort zones and reach out to folks who are within a couple hundred feet of our door but whose lives can be quite hidden. Our block party brought together seven households. Some of us knew some of us, but all of us were able to meet more of us. Now, we share our extra tomatoes and keep a kind look out for each other. I've already decided the next gathering will be a casual potluck across a couple front yards or coordinated visits at each other's front porches. Until the City of Cleveland provides an improved block party process, its regulations, permits and portals will remain the ultimate party pooper. Leslie Kouba is a freelance writer residing on Cleveland's West Side and writes regularly for The Plain Dealer and cleveland.com. You can reach her at LeslieKoubaPD@gmail.com. Leslie Kouba columnist for cleveland.com and The Plain Dealer. January 14, 2022