Good advice from a man named Butch

Find something you enjoy doing that you don't have to be good at. While the previous sentence isn't grammatically correct, it was still the advice I needed at the exact moment it was given to me. A counselor named Butch gave me this advice many years ago when I was struggling with depression and anxiety. One of the issues I had at the time was that I thought I had to excel at everything I did. This thinking caused me to put undue pressure on myself to succeed even at things that didn't matter all that much. This pressure crushed me. Giving extreme effort all the time regardless of what I was doing only to see my efforts amount to very little became a vicious cycle. I would give everything I had to everything I did only to either fail or succeed at something that didn't matter. To make myself feel better I would then do the same thing again with a different task. Always being 'on,' always trying to 'win' at everything I did was one of the biggest causes of my anxiety and depression. When I 'won' it was at something that didn't bring with it any satisfaction leading to negative feelings about myself. When I didn't 'win,' I beat myself up for not being good enough which caused even more problems. Butch, the counselor I mentioned previously, was the one who helped me see what I was doing and the damage it was causing both my heart and soul. He explained that the way I was viewing everything I did wasn't conducive to a happy, well-adjusted life. That's when he said the words I needed to hear that I didn't know I needed to hear: 'Matt, you need to find something that you enjoy doing that you don't have to be good at.' I didn't quite know how to process this at first. My first thought was, 'Why do it if you're not trying to be good at it.' When I expressed this to him he told me about how it is good to do things just for the enjoyment of doing them. We said the happiest people have hobbies that bring them joy or peace or calmness or any number of other worthwhile things. He said that whatever that thing could be for me was probably something I wasn't currently doing. His reasoning for this was because I wasn't currently doing anything I didn't think I could be good at and that whatever I could do just for the enjoyment of doing it was likely not one of those things. So he asked me what I enjoy doing that I wasn't currently doing and that I hadn't done in a while. After thinking about this for several minutes, the answer came to me. The answer was writing. I remembered enjoying writing all throughout school. I also remembered writing just on my own, outside of any formal assignments. But I hadn't done it in a while and didn't know what avenue to take. Butch reminded me this was something I was supposed to do just for the pleasure of doing it. He said it didn't matter if anyone ever saw it or not. He said it was the betterment of my life, not for the enjoyment of others. So, I started writing. And I enjoyed it. I kept writing. Eventually I had a monthly column featured in a Knoxville newspaper for a year. I then started a blog that I kept going for several years. That led to other writing opportunities. And now I'm writing for this publication and a start-up Facebook page. I hope you enjoy what I write and that it's a blessing to you in some way. But the real reason I do it is because I enjoy it and I want to honor God while doing it. I'm not sure I'm good at it, which isn't the point anyway. I write because I needed something I enjoyed doing that I didn't have to be good at. It's possible you need the same thing. If so, try to find out what it is and if it isn't illegal or immoral…do it. Doing something just for the enjoyment of doing it may help you like it helped (and is helping) me. Matt Cannon is director of missions of the Big Emory Baptist Association and president of Roane for All. Contact him at bigmattcannon@yahoo.com.