We're holding Gen Z to a standard that doesn't make sense

From news to sports, we help you stay connected to the world around you. www.usatoday.com By Robin Stern Marc Brackett , 3 hours ago It is an argument every generation seems to inherit: Kids these days? They are just lazy. We constantly hear that young people do not want to work. That they expect too much. That they are entitled, fragile and soft. Picture this: Marla, a high school sophomore, comes home, drops her backpack and spends hours scrolling on her phone. Later, she complains that she has too much homework. Her parents reach an understandable conclusion: She is lazy. Recently, former White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, herself a member of Gen Z, brought this accusation back into the national conversation. She described her generation as 'a little bit' lazy and raised with 'silver spoons in their mouths.' Her prescription was equally familiar: work harder, embrace meritocracy, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. The story is compelling because it's simple. If the problem is laziness, the solution must be effort. But what if the explanation is wrong? One in three Gen Z singles are dating for the free meal, according to a new study from Intuit. By Isbjorn, Getty Images As researchers and practitioners of emotional intelligence, we have spent decades studying how emotions influence the way we think, learn, make decisions, solve problems, build relationships and behave. Emotions are not background noise; they are information. When we call someone lazy, we often stop asking questions. We confuse a judgment with an explanation. What we call laziness may be disengagement: 'None of this feels relevant to me.' Discouragement: 'Why bother? I will probably fail.' Shame: 'Everyone else understands this except me.' Disconnection: 'No one would notice if I stopped trying.' Or something more troubling: 'Nothing really excites me anymore.' Our teens are using AI chatbots daily. It's our fault. | Opinion What looks like indifference may be anxiety. What looks like a lack of ambition may be a young person who has lost faith that effort will lead somewhere meaningful. Of course, young people sometimes procrastinate, avoid responsibility and need to work harder. So do adults. But calling someone lazy describes what we see; it does not tell us why it is happening – or what might change it. Empathy and accountability are not opposites. Understanding is often what makes accountability work. Young people are coming of age amid financial strain, political conflict, climate anxiety, mass violence and a digital culture that brings every catastrophe onto the screens in their pockets. Recent Federal Reserve data show that financial well-being declined among young adults in 2025, with the decline especially pronounced among those ages 18 to 24. They are told to build successful lives while many traditional markers of adulthood – financial independence, stable work, home ownership – feel harder to reach. Although U.S. consumer prices ticked up last month, the annual inflation rate eased a bit again in July, the Labor Department said Aug. 12, 2026. By Lucy Nicholson/Reuters And then there is loneliness. Loneliness is often treated as separate from debates about motivation, work and education. It isn't. Social connection is deeply tied to well-being – and to motivation. Decades of research on self-determination show that people are more likely to thrive and sustain motivation when fundamental needs for competence, autonomy and relatedness are supported. Children are finding self-worth with AI. That's dangerous. | Opinion In plain English: We work harder when we believe we can succeed, when we have some ownership over what we are doing, and when we feel that we belong and matter. Loneliness can erode those conditions. A young person who does not feel known, needed or connected may begin to wonder: Who would notice if I stopped trying? What am I working toward? Where do I fit? What difference does any of this make? Those questions need more than lectures on grit. Student sitting at desk in classroom with hands on her face in frustration sadness anxiety worried By FangXiaNuo, Getty Images Young people have more access to the language of mental health – and to helpers – than any generation before them. Therapy is discussed openly. Counseling platforms are widely available. Social media offers an endless vocabulary of anxiety, trauma, boundaries, burnout and attachment. And now AI can answer questions about feelings and relationships at any hour. But more language and more information have not eliminated distress. In 2023, 40% of U.S. high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store. Perhaps what is missing is not simply more language for distress, but more help answering some of the oldest human questions: What am I good at? What do I care about? Who needs me? Where can I contribute? Do I matter? What kind of person do I want to become? Purpose does not mean discovering one grand calling at seventeen. It may begin much smaller: being trusted with responsibility, becoming good at something difficult, helping a younger child, making music, solving a problem, caring for a grandparent, working toward a goal that feels genuinely one's own. Research on adolescent development has long suggested that purpose is associated with positive development. Young people need adults who help them connect emotion to action: You are discouraged: What matters enough to keep going? You are angry: What might that anger be telling you to protect or change? You are bored: what sparks your curiosity? You failed: What do you want enough to try again? These are emotional-intelligence questions, but they are also questions about agency, responsibility, and building a life. They require emotional allies: adults who listen without rushing to judgment and communicate two messages at once: I want to understand what you are experiencing I believe you are capable of doing something with it That second message matters just as much as the first. They do not need adults who remove every obstacle from their path. They need adults who help them develop the skills and confidence to face obstacles themselves. Schools are uniquely positioned to provide both. A school should teach students to read, write, calculate, analyze and reason. It should also be a place where young people discover competence, belonging, contribution, and possibility. A student who struggles in algebra may come alive building a robot. Another may find herself editing the school newspaper, tutoring a younger student, playing cello, organizing a food drive, or encountering a teacher who notices something in her she has not yet learned to see in herself. These experiences are not peripheral to education. They are often where motivation begins. Why is everyone so weird about Gen Z? | Opinion Return to Marla, sitting on her bed with her homework untouched and her phone in her hand. Her parents could call her lazy, take away the phone and insist she try harder. And maybe she does need firmer limits. Maybe she needs to put down the phone and begin the assignment. But the conversation cannot end there. Robin Stern, PhD, is a psychoanalyst and author of The Gaslight Effect, The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide and host of The Gaslight Effect Podcast. By Clare Fisher Someone also needs to wonder with her what happens inside when she opens her backpack. Is she overwhelmed before she begins? Afraid of failing? Does the work feel meaningless? Is the phone offering temporary relief from loneliness or pressure? Then ask the question we pose to young people far too rarely: Marla, what do you care about? What makes you curious? When do you feel most like yourself? What are you willing to work hard for? Where do you feel useful? Those questions do not excuse Marla from doing her homework. The goal is not to give her an excuse for disengaging. It is to give her a reason to engage. Marc Brackett, PhD, is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor at Yale's Child Study Center. By Horacio Marquinez Motivation cannot simply be commanded into existence. It grows when young people experience themselves as capable, connected and needed – when they can imagine a future self worth working toward and believe they have something to contribute. The next time someone describes young people as lazy, we might ask a better question: Have we helped them discover something worth working for? Accountability still matters. So do effort, perseverance and responsibility. But accountability begins with understanding what makes effort possible. Bootstraps may tell young people to pull themselves up. Our role is to help them discover why they want to stand. Robin Stern, PhD, is the cofounder and senior adviser to the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a psychoanalyst in private practice. She is the author of "The Gaslight Effect" and "The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide," and host of "The Gaslight Effect Podcast." Marc Brackett, PhD, is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor at Yale's Child Study Center. He is the author of "Permission to Feel' and "Dealing with Feeling,' which is also the name of his podcast. Opinions are those of the authors and do not reflect those of Yale School of Medicine. You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter. This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: We're holding Gen Z to a standard that doesn't make sense | Opinion partner publisher · 2.0M followers Adam Levy has received plenty of blunt advice over the years from his mother, famed TV jurist Judy Sheindlin – known around the world as no-nonsense Judge Judy. So when Levy got the call to take the family seat on the TV bench for his own syndicated court show, "Adam's Law," (premiering Sept. 14, check local listings ), the former prosecutor received on-brand counsel from Mom, the show's creator and executive producer. "She told me, 'Don't screw this up,'" Levy, 58, tells USA TODAY. It was the same sage advice Sheindlin , 83, gave her son − whom she shares with ex-husband Ronald Levy − before his first TV judge gig on Prime Video's "Tribunal Justice," on which he served alongside fellow judges, Tanya Acker and Patricia Di Mango . But the stakes are even higher in "Adam's Law," with Levy sitting in TV judgment solo, just as his mother did in her superstar-making role in the syndicated courtroom classic, "Judge Judy," which ran from 1996 to 2021. "She liked the idea of retiring after 30 years and passing the gavel onto me," Levy says. "If there's one thing people need to know about Judy, she doesn't blow smoke up partner publisher · 2.0M followers Texas Attorney General and U.S. Senate candidate Ken Paxton is reacting to President Donald Trump's criticism of the way he dresses. Paxton brushed off Trump's wardrobe critique during a Sept. 3 appearance on Fox News, saying Texas is 'a relatively casual place' and pointing to the Lone Star State's summer heat. 'I've got my sports jacket on. I love it. Texas is a relatively casual place in the summer, and it's hot. We adjust. We wear cowboy boots, and we wear a blazer, and we're all good,' Paxton said. Ken Paxton responds to Trump trashing his clothes: I've got my sports jacket on, I love it. Texas is a rather casual place in the summer and it's hot. We adjust. Wear cowboy boots, a blazer, and we're good. pic.twitter.com/9uaVglIOGF — Acyn (@Acyn) September 3, 2026 Trump says Paxton's suit 'doesn't look so great' Trump criticized Paxton's appearance during a Rose Garden dinner at the White House on Sept. 2, while also praising his record as Texas attorney general. 'And I say this, it's so insulting to him, but I might as well say it. You might not like the way he looks, you might not love his look, you might partner publisher · 2.0M followers When summer heat scorches the country, many families seek refuge at pools, lakes and beaches, especially over the holiday weekend . But the water can pose a substantial threat to the youngest and most vulnerable members of the family. After decades of decline, the rate of drowning deaths among children has risen significantly in recent years, doctors recently warned. A lack of proper adult supervision is among the biggest risk factors . But when a child slips away and drowns, authorities are left with a heart-wrenching question: was it an accident or a crime? And what could have been done to prevent a tragedy? Child drownings are on the rise Drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death for American children between the ages of 1 and 4 years old and the second most common killer of kids ages 5 through 14, according to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics published in June. The rate of these deaths was on the decline for decades, but drownings started to increase after 2019. A lack of supervision near bodies of water can be dangerous and deadly for toddlers in particular, said Dr. Rohit Shenoi, the lead author of the American partner publisher · 2.0M followers The heartbreaking trial of Lindsay Clancy , which sparked debates about women's health and the judicial system, has ended in a mistrial , starting what will likely be a running conversation about what happens next. Before that, it's worth taking a look at how we got here. Clancy, a mother of three, strangled her three children while dealing with postpartum depression. She pleaded not guilty as her defense claimed that a postpartum psychosis event meant she was not criminally responsible . The entire story is heartbreaking, but unfortunately, not everyone seems to be sad for the right reasons. Social media has been flooded with posts from supporters of Clancy's, who either claim she needed help , that this is somehow her now ex-husband's fault or merely the crowds of supporters cheering for her as she arrives at the courthouse. This type of rhetoric wasn't unforeseeable. America has been succumbing to a culture devaluing life for quite some time, and the fact that the lives lost in this tragedy often amount to a footnote in discussions is just more evidence of that fact. Another view: Clancy mistrial distracts from moms who actually deserve empathy | Opinion Lindsay Clancy's supporters diminish the partner publisher · 2.0M followers Alcohol-related cancer deaths are rising − and it's not just the liver being impacted by alcohol consumption , according to new research. In the study, published Aug. 2 in The Lancet Regional Health – Americas , the authors found alcohol-attributable cancer deaths in the United States doubled from about 11,400 in 1990 to more than 23,100 in 2023. And deaths were not limited to liver cancer. Researchers found there were also growing incidences of colorectal, breast, esophageal, pancreatic and other cancers. 'The most surprising finding was the breadth of alcohol's potential impact across cancer types,' Dr. Chinmay Jani, corresponding study author and chief fellow in hematology and oncology at Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center, said in a news release . 'Although its relationship with liver cancer is widely recognized, its contribution to cancers such as colorectal, esophageal, breast, pancreatic and prostate cancer is less well understood by the public.' Plus, it doesn't take much to increase risk. The authors pointed to research that shows alcohol has been linked to elevated cancer risk even at intake levels as low as 5-15 grams per day. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines a "standard drink" in the U.S. as 0.6 ounces, or partner publisher · 2.0M followers Every time you send a paper check in the mail, consumer advocates say, you're putting your bank account at risk. Check fraud is rising, even as the number of checks in circulation is declining. In 2025, federal data shows , Americans lost more money to check fraud than to debit card or gift card scams. Consumers are writing fewer checks these days, but the amounts are larger, and thieves know it. 'Criminals know that when they see a check in the mail, it's less likely to be a $10 check and more likely to be a $10,000 check,' said Scott Anchin , senior vice president of strategic initiatives and policy at the Independent Community Bankers of America. Paper checks used to be everywhere. By 2024, however, they represented just 3% of all payments in the United States, according to the Federal Reserve . Consumers used to write checks to pay bills, buy groceries and re-up at the gym. Today, people often write checks for larger one-time transactions, such as paying a contractor or a tax bill. Larger checks mean higher stakes for fraud Larger checks mean higher stakes for thieves. Check fraud has been around for ages, but modern tech partner publisher · 2.0M followers President Donald Trump said Lindsay Clancy, a Massachusetts mother charged with murdering her three children, will still pay "a price" after a mistrial was declared in her case. "It's a terrible situation," Trump said Sept. 4 during an Oval Office event. "Look, she did a horrible, horrible thing. Can't be worse. But you'll find out what the price to pay is, there'll be a price. It's going to be mental institution or jail or something." Clancy, 36, strangled her young children with workout bands in the family's home on Jan. 24, 2023, according to officials, before attempting to take her own life. Her lawyers did not dispute the facts surrounding her children's deaths, but said she suffered from postpartum depression and psychosis and shouldn't be held criminally responsible in a case that has gripped the nation. Jurors in Clancy's trial failed to return a unanimous verdict after 38 hours of deliberation, resulting in Judge William Sullivan declaring a mistrial Sept. 4. Prosecutors must now decide whether to retry Clancy. "I guess they're going to go through another trial," Trump said. "It's too bad." Asked if he had been following the trial, Trump said: "It's hard not to, it's on television Savory ground beef, tender macaroni, tomatoes, and simple pantry seasonings come together in the kind of old-fashioned goulash that feels familiar from the very first spoonful. The beef cooks down rich and hearty, the pasta soaks up the tomatoey sauce, and everything simmers together until the whole pot turns thick, saucy, and deeply comforting. A little garlic, onion, and seasoning bring that classic family-dinner flavor, while the soft macaroni keeps every bite satisfying without making the dish complicated. It is practical, budget-friendly, and exactly the kind of meal that feels like something Mama could stretch to feed everybody at the table and still have enough left for tomorrow. partner publisher · 2.0M followers Your dog sadly doesn't live as long as you, but they still live a full life — just on a different timeline. To keep track of the timeline, many people like to calculate it from dog years into human years. The phrase "dog years" refers to the calculation of how old a pup actually is, versus how old a pup is on a "human years" timeline. The myth-based formula multiplies a dog's age by seven to get its approximate age if it were to be a human. However, according to veterinarians, this calculation isn't always accurate. Is calculating your dog's age to human years accurate? Dr. Jo Myers, a veterinarian at veterinary telemedicine company Vetster , said multiplying how old your dog has been alive by seven is a reasonable starting point to understanding how dogs age faster than humans, but it's an over simplification. "Dogs don't age at a steady rate that's seven times faster than humans age. They mature remarkably quickly early in life, and their rate of aging later on varies considerably, especially with their size. There's plenty of individual variation, too, just as there is among people of the same age," said Myers. The one-to-seven formula partner publisher · 2.0M followers As we near the 25th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks , you've no doubt seen more of the tributes, the horrifying tales recounting loss and survival, and the tender moments of unity that feel so fleeting now. As we revisit that history and remember the nearly 3,000 people who died in the attacks that day, we wanted to hear from you, our readers, on how you view one of the nation's most foundational shared memories. So we asked you what you experienced that day , what you remember from that moment of both unimaginable loss and of coming together as Americans, and how you see the legacy of that dark day now, with 25 years of hindsight and history. See a collection of your responses below. For more opportunities to weigh in with your takes on the news, visit usatoday.com/forum , leave us a voicemail at (202) 655-3923 or drop us a note at forum@usatoday.com . Where were you on 9/11? What do you remember? Tell us. | Opinion Forum 'The towers are gone!' I was on a Long Island Rail Road train to Penn Station when we first heard of a plane crashing into the first tower of partner publisher · 2.0M followers At 22, Mary Woulf was a single mother and a college dropout. She went to a temp agency in search of receptionist work. She tested well, so the agency dispatched her to its best client, a national mortgage lender. 'I was only supposed to be there for three months,' she said. She stayed for 13 years. Early on, one of Woulf's colleagues sat her down. 'They knew I was just a single mom and trying to work hard,' she said. The mentor told her about the company's 401(k) program. 'They said, 'One day you might have a million dollars.' And I said, 'A million dollars?' And it seemed impossible.' Woulf opened a retirement savings account in 1990. Thirty-six years later, she has a million dollars. Before her retirement in 2021, Woulf joined the growing ranks of 401(k) millionaires, Americans who attain a seven-figure balance in a workplace retirement plan, an Individual Retirement Account, or some combination of the two. Fidelity reports a record number of 401(k) millionaires, 769,000, as of mid-2026 . The figure covers only Fidelity account holders. Saving $1million in a 401(k) sounds easy. It isn't. In August 2025, USA TODAY told the stories of six 401(k) millionaires,